Do you own your life or are you living a life others want for you?
We’ve all listened to, and often benefited from, the advice of well–intended friends, relatives, and colleagues. While growing up and feeling the anxiety of how to form one’s life to “get it right” it can be comforting to believe that others have figured out how “it” should be. You’ve heard their philosophies and guidance, they seem to be happy, and you’d prefer that they think highly of you. Yet what happens later when you realize that the career, relationship, location, spiritual beliefs, or lifestyle that you’ve been living, no longer feels right for you?
When you project the direction that you’ve been going on into the future, do you feel enthused or depressed? Clues that it may be time to evaluate, regardless of how successful you’ve been or how impressed others are of you, include:
- You feel a lack of authenticity
- You feel like you’re losing yourself
- You lack passion
Life expresses itself through each of us. If your decisions are based upon too much compromise or people-pleasing, you’re not living and radiating your unique being- and that results in a stale life for yourself and affects those who love you. So how do you create a life that feels like it’s truly yours?
Get clear on your:
Your values are what your conscious will use to gauge your success. If you most value time with your loved ones yet are working 20 hours/day on Wall Street, will you feel right peace within yourself when you look back on your life? Could the 20 hour work days be just a temporary sacrifice as part of a strategy to earn and save money for you to move on to a new career? Would living in a part of the country that is innovative, resonate with your values of creativity and progression such that it would be worth the short term discomfort upheaval of relocating and making new friends?
The vision you develop and hold of your life will be your compass as you move through your years. For it to drive you, your vision will both need to inspire you and be within the realm of what you believe could be possible.
Your priorities will be what you use to navigate toward your vision. Be sure that what you trade your time and focus for is worth it. Everything that you do either moves you closer to your goals or further away from them. If you’re hanging out with a crowd who is not going in the direction of your vision, you’ll likely be better off to give that time back to save that time for yourself (perhaps in the form of planning, assessing, or resting).
The more you tune into and listen to your inner voice, the more familiar you will become with what it feels like when you are out of resonance and when you are in resonance with who you want to be and how you desire to be living. Your own self-respect will matter far more to you than anyone else’s ever could. And, your own joy is worth the discomfort of creating your own path in life!